10404
"LAVA'S A MANY SPLENDORED THING"
Air Date June 28, 2002
Written by Michael Miller Directed by Michael Pattinson
Transcript by Jules
For a list of the Guest Cast and other important details, please visit:
Previously on Farscape (voice of D'Argo):
Scene One: from "Crichton Kicks", John is writing on a wall with a paint brush. A + C = John: "I've finally figured out wormholes."
Scene Two: from "Crichton Kicks", John has just finished cutting his hair and shaving off his beard. John: "I can get you home." Chiana squats down and watches him. Rygel: "Hmm." John: "If I knew where home was, or where we are."
Scene Three: from "Crichton Kicks", John sits on the floor of the Lady Pilot's den, beside Sikozu. John: "You might not want to come with us. We are not the best traveling companions."
Scene Four: from "What Was Lost, Part One: Sacrifice", John and D'Argo stand in a corridor in the ruins. Tarnat stands behind them, watching. John: "Aeryn. We haven't heard from her. Has she contacted you?" D'Argo: "No, not yet."
Scene Five: from "What Was Lost, Part One: Sacrifice", John sits on the floor against a wall. He is surrounded by Peacekeeper soldiers. Commandant Grayza stands watching him. Captain Braca leads in Scorpius, by a leash around his neck. John: "What do you want from me?" Commandant Grayza is next to John: "What I want..." She wipes some beads of sweat off her chest. "... may not be as bad as you think." She holds the hand with the sweat on it under John's nose. John reaches out and grabs her by the back of the neck. Grayza holds out her hand to stop the soldiers from shooting. Chiana: "What are you doin?"
Scene Six: from "What Was Lost, Part Two: Resurrection", a bare-chested John sits beside the slab where the bare-armed Commandant is lying. Grayza runs her hand under John's chin. Grayza: "My interrogations are much more agreeable than Scorpius' methods."
Scene Seven: from "What Was Lost, Part Two: Resurrection", Captain Braca shoots Scorpius in the back, from point blank range. Spittle flies out of Scorpius' mouth and his eyes jerk. Grayza: "He'll never bother you again." John, kneeling, watches and swallows hard. Grayza: "Bury him."
Scene Eight: from "What Was Lost, Part Two: Resurrection", a Peacekeeper soldier begins to shovel dirt onto an unconscious seeming Scorpius while Braca, Grayza, John, Chiana and Sikozu watch.
Scene Nine: from "What Was Lost, Part Two: Resurrection", the Lady Pilot talks to the dying Leviathan. Lady Pilot: "Elack! If we don't find the strength, it's all been for nothing."
Scene Ten: from "What Was Lost, Part Two: Resurrection", Elack dives into the planet, landing amongst the Peacekeeper's mauraders as D'Argo's ship, Lolah lifts off. Jool: "D'Argo!" D'Argo pilots the ship away.
Scene Eleven: from "What Was Lost, Part Two: Resurrection", onboard the Peacekeeper Command Carrier, Commandant Grayza talks to Captain Braca. Grayza: "I will find them again and when I do, they will pay for this humiliation."
Scene Twelve: from "What Was Lost, Part Two: Resurrection", Jool and D'Argo stand on the planet, near a ruined arch as John and Chiana climb the cliff in the background, holding hands. Jool: "I've said goodbye to everyone. I can't make any of you stay."
Scene Thirteen: from "What Was Lost, Part Two: Resurrection", Jool faces D'Argo. Tears are running down her face. Jool: "You have more courage, integrity and honesty than a dozen Vellas. And I should have said that to her." D'Argo looks down at her, and they kiss.
Scene Fourteen: from "What Was Lost, Part Two: Resurrection", D'Argo's ship flies through space, towing the Farscape One module behind it. Inside D'Argo's ship... Sikozu: "So, any response from Moya?" D'Argo: "Not yet." Rygel: "We are hunted by Peacekeepers, lost in the Uncharted Territories with no purpose in life." Old Woman: "One of us has a purpose, don't you Crichton?"
Scene Fifteen: from "What Was Lost, Part Two: Resurrection", Inside the Farscape One module, John comms in response: "You're right. I do have a purpose."
And now, on Farscape.........
PROLOGUE
D'Argo's ship is towing the Farscape One module through space, towards an orange planet or sun. Inside the ship, Noranti is doing something, rubbing her hands together. John sits in the front of the cockpit, next to D'Argo. Something makes a beeping noise.
John: "No sign of Moya yet?"
D'Argo: "Nothing. No response on the comms."
Rygel: "So, why don't we land? I am starving. Isn't that a planet out there?"
Through the front view screen, a large orange planet is visible. John has a book balanced on his knee and he is writing in it.
D'Argo: "Hot and lifeless. Do you eat rock?"
Rygel: "Hmm?"
Chiana: "Right now? I think I could." She squirms in discomfort
Sikozu: "You ate only three solar days ago. How inefficient is your body?"
Chiana: "How edible... is yours? I can see there's not much meat on there, but I'm sure there's a lot of chew on your noggin."
Rygel passes gas... voluminously.
Chiana laughs.
John (in a high voice): "Oh damn. How do you roll the window down on this place? I should'a stayed on the module."
D'Argo (with helium voice): "Should'a left him on the module."
Rygel (also with helium voice): "Ohhh! I need food."
Noranti spits something into her hand.
John: "We all need food, Buckwheat. You don't hear the rest of us fumigating the joint."
Noranti holds out her hand to John: "Here."
John glances at it: "What's that?"
Noranti: "Jilnak. Very good for you."
John: "Huh? Give it to Mikey there. He'll eat anything."
Rygel holds his face up, mouth open wide and Noranti drops something into it.
Rygel: "Oh!" He chews.
D'Argo looks suspiciously at the morsel the old woman has put into his hand.
Rygel: "More?"
John holds up the piece he is holding, looking it over: "Hey, what do you know? Mikey likes it."
Noranti: "One portion apiece." She puts pieces into Chiana and Sikozu's hands.
Rygel: "Uhh... three stomachs, three portions, no?"
Sikozu looks at her piece very closely, and D'Argo closes his eyes and puts his piece in his mouth.
Chiana, chewing: "It's not bad."
D'Argo nods: "Mmm."
Rygel: "Mmm."
Chiana, still chewing: "It's actually quite good."
Sikozu is still looking at her piece. She sniffs it and makes a face.
John holds his piece away from him, suspiciously: "That stuff's not gonna turn anybody into a newt, is it?"
Noranti: "Eat it. It's Jilnak. Restorative." She gives John a different piece and he sniffs it.
Rygel: "Uhh... if you don't want it, I... uh..."
John pops his piece into his mouth, pointedly chewing.
Sikozu holds her piece by Rygel's face: "Rygel..."
Rygel: "Hmm?" She pops her piece into his mouth and smiles.
Rygel: "Mmm."
John: "How come everything tastes like chicken?"
D'Argo puts another bite in his mouth.
Chiana: "What's chicken?" She pops another piece in her mouth.
John eats more of the Jilnak. Noranti keeps kneading something in her hands.
Rygel gets a funny look on his face, distressed. There is a loud gurgling sound.
Retracting its wings, D'Argo's ship lands on the lifeless planet. There are pockets of lava dotted here and there on the rock strewn landscape.
Rygel floats into view, groaning and belching.
Rygel whispers: "I'll be back. Ohh! Don't you leave without me!" He cries and groans and bends over at the waist. He flies off into the rocks.
Chiana gets down off the ship, half falling: "Ohh!" She staggers away from the steps.
John gets off after her. He puts his finger on a nostril and walks away from the ship. He keeps a hand on his belly and walks over to Chiana. He puts his hand on her shoulder.
John: "Hmmph?"
Chiana nods and begins to vomit. John puts his hand to his mouth and bends over as vomit spews from between his fingers. He hurries away from Chiana and vomits among the rocks.
Sikozu steps off the ship and looks at them. They are both vomiting loudly.
D'Argo follows her. John holds his hand up to D'Argo.
John: "I'm alright." He starts to vomit again.
D'Argo staggers a short distance, coughing. He bends over and vomits as well.
Noranti goes over to John.
John: "Restorative? You call that a restorative? Try purgative." He spits twice.
Noranti takes something out of a bag and offers it to John: "Here. This'll help the cramp."
John: "You'd better get away from me before I spew on you."
D'Argo: "I... am inside out."
Noranti: "But you're not hungry anymore."
D'Argo hisses at her.
Noranti scoots away as D'Argo comes over to John.
D'Argo: "Okay. Where's Rygel?"
Chiana: "Down that hole. Takin a giant schlock." She laughs.
D'Argo calls: "Rygel?"
Chiana starts to vomit again.
John and D'Argo go over to the rock formation Chiana had indicated.
John: "Buckwheat?"
D'Argo: "Rygel?"
John climbs up on a rock and looks down into a deep cavern. D'Argo comes up behind him.
John: "Hey, Sparky? You down there?"
Down below, Rygel is looking at something.
D'Argo: "Rygel?
John: "Guido?"
John climbs into the mouth of the hole and starts to climb down the side. D'Argo follows him, breathing heavily.
Rygel is among some multi-sided crates. There are several items strewn around on top of and beside the crates. His stomach growls as he floats among the things, and he farts again.
Rygel: "Ohh." He stops near some trinkets. "Uhh."
John's voice comes from behind him and Rygel picks up a trinket and whirls around.
John: "Man. I got one of those... chunks stuck up in my nose."
D'Argo: "Man, I hate that." He stops when he sees Rygel. "Rygel? What the frell are you doing?"
John, playing with his nose: "Buckwheat... I thought you came down here to drop some friends off at the pool."
Rygel: "I did. I will."
John: "Well, do your business and let's get outta here and that stuff belongs to somebody else." He points at the trinket Rygel is holding.
D'Argo reaches out and takes the trinket from Rygel: "We have enough enemies, already." He tosses the trinket aside and it lands with a thud.
Rygel floats towards the trinket: "I thought you said the planet's lifeless."
D'Argo: "On the surface, yes. But down here..."
Noranti has joined them in the cavern. She opens one of the crates and looks inside.
Noranti: "What's this?" She pulls a packet of some kind out of the crate. "Medicines."
Chiana looks down into the cavern from the surface. Sikozu comes up and joins her.
John: "Oh great, another klepto." He shuts the lid of the crate.
Noranti: "No, no, no, no, no. These markings are familiar. I've seen them before somewhere, but where? I..."
Rygel scoots over to where the trinket is laying and looks around.
D'Argo: "Who cares? Let's get out of here."
John: "Exactly."
Rygel sniffs twice and reaches for the trinket. As he picks it up, a red light shines on his hand and a column of goo comes out of the rock and traps him by the butt, in mid-air. Other red lights shoot up all around him.
Rygel, sounding strained: "Help!"
There is a gurgling sound.
Rygel: "Help!"
An amber colored substance has covered the opening where Chiana and Sikozu are looking down.
John looks around. Red lights shoot up all around them.
John: "Watch it! Trip lights everywhere. "D"?"
The lights go back into the rocks.
D'Argo: "I know. I see them."
Noranti starts to walk towards Rygel. John grabs her arm.
John: "No. Uh huh. Uh huh." He pulls her back. "Booby traps."
Rygel: "I can't move. Help me. Get me out!"
Chiana calls down, her voice muffled: "D'Argo?"
D'Argo looks back up at the opening. Chiana and Sikozu are pounding on the surface that is blocking the hole.
Chiana: "Will someone frelling answer?"
D'Argo pulls his qualta blade and points it at the hole. Chiana and SIkozu scatter.
D'Argo: "Stand clear." He shoots at the surface covering the hole, to no visible effect.
Chiana and Sikozu come back to the hole. Sikozu pounds on the surface.
Chiana makes a cutting sign across her throat: "It's no good."
Rygel, from atop a column of an amber colored substance: "Somebody help me. I'm stuck!"
D'Argo, still holding his qualta blade: "We're all stuck."
END OF PROLOGUE
_________________________________________________________________________
ACT ONE
Inside the lava cave...
Rygel is being held suspended in midair by a hard, amberlike substance which covers him up to his chest.
Rygel: "Ohhh! I really need to shlock. My bowels hate me. I hate you! Get me out! Do something!"
John is standing still, hanging on to Noranti's arm to keep her from moving.
John: "I'm open to suggestions."
Noranti: "Where have I seen these markings before? On Cavari. Yes. No, no, not Cavari. It must have been Eldor Two."
John: "D. We may have to stick Granny in a home."
D'Argo: "I think we should burn her."
John: "You burn your old folks?"
D'Argo: "No, it just... sounded like a good idea."
There is a clanking noise.
John: "Wait. You hear that?"
There is the sound of air escaping, from behind them. John swivels in place, to look. A door has opened in the rock and more crates are visible.
Rygel groans.
John whispers: "Sparky! Shut up!"
Voices are heard in the distance, coming closer and a beam of light wavers around.
Two male aliens are walking through the lava cavern. They are unkempt looking, wearing ratty looking t-shirts covered only by straps that secure a metal disc over their breastbones. They are carrying weapons like pulse rifles.
2nd Alien: "...don't forget to kill the traps."
1st Alien: "Ahh, course not." He holds out a devise and presses it. In the cavern, the red lights flash on for a moment, then off again.
1st Alien: "Traps are off. I don't know why they make you set the traps in the first place."
Once the lights go off, Noranti wanders off, looking at the crates. John and D'Argo hurry over to Rygel.
John whispers: "Rygel." He pats the amber substance. Rygel groans.
Noranti: "Plague. Children sick, dying. Then soldiers brought provisions..."
2nd Alien: "Come on, Frool, get..."
Noranti: "Tarkans. These belong to the Tarkans. I tell you..."
John runs over and grabs her, dragging her into hiding: "Yo Grandma. Go!" As he passes Rygel, John whispers: "Play dead."
Noranti: "...I tell you, the Tarkans..."
Rygel: "Crichton! Don't... don't leave me!"
John takes Noranti behind some rocks.
Noranti: "I remember now. Tarkan Freedom fighters..."
John: "Shh! Zip it!"
The two male aliens enter the cavern.
2nd Alien: "Come on. We've still got a lotta crates to move."
Frool: "How come I always gotta do the heavy lugging?"
2nd Alien: "Because you're not smart enough to do anything else. That's why."
Frool: "Oh? Then why're you here?"
2nd Alien: "Because I'm not smart enough to hang out with anyone else."
He watches as Frool moves some crates.
John, Noranti and D'Argo watch them from behind some rocks.
D'Argo: "Okay. Do you think we can take 'em out?"
John: "I don't know. What if they've got friends downstairs?"
D'Argo: "I'll take these two, you can take the friends."
John: "What if there's a hundred of 'em?"
D'Argo: "Of these guys?"
The two aliens continue to talk to each other, back and forth.
Frool: "Hey listen, I'm warning..."
2nd Alien: "There's two frellin arns..."
D'Argo: "We should be so lucky."
Frool: "...aww, that..."
Rygel has his eyes closed, "playing dead". Suddenly, his stomach complains, loudly.
2nd Alien: "Shh! Look at this!" He points to Rygel.
Noranti: "No violence. These are Tarkan..."
John clamps his hand over her mouth.
2nd Alien, gesturing: "Somethin set off the traps."
Frool: "Yah. And got itself stuck."
D'Argo, John and Noranti move back behind the rocks.
2nd Alien: "Will you go on? Go in front!"
The two aliens "sneak" up on Rygel with their rifles pointed at him.
2nd Alien: "Is it dead?"
Rygel farts.
The two aliens grimace and turn their faces. Rygel's stomach growls again.
Frool (helium voice): "Ahhh. Smells dead. But it's not... yet."
Rygel: "Gentlemen... I apologize for disturbing your work." He groans. "If you'll be so kind to, ahh... get me free, I'll be on my way."
Frool: "It speaks."
2nd Alien: "Steals too."
Frool: "Any more of you?"
Rygel: "N... no. I'm all alone."
2nd Alien: "Yah, I can see why."
John, D'Argo and Noranti sneak around the back of some rocks, working their way closer to Rygel. Noranti lags behind. John turns back towards her.
John whispers: "Come on."
2nd Alien yells loudly: "We've captured an intruder. It claims it's all alone."
From another cavern, a third alien answers him: "Is it armed?"
2nd Alien: "No. But it's sure making some strange noises."
3rd Alien: "Don't touch it. Wait for me. I'm on my way." He carries a container over to where two more aliens are loading crates and hands it to one of them.
3rd Alien: "Come with me."
A fourth alien turns and leaves with him. The one left behind places a crate inside an opening, steam shoots up and the crate disappears.
John grabs Noranti and pulls her back from an opening.
John whispers: "What are you doing? Did I not tell you to stay put?"
Noranti: "Listen to me... these are Tarkans. They're good people."
John: "You know Jack about these people! Now, you stay behind cover."
Noranti spits in John's eye. He lets go of her, to rub his eye. When he does, she scoots around the rock and out into the open.
Noranti: "Greetings. Tarkans."
The two aliens bring up their rifles and point them at Noranti.
Alien: "Hey!"
Noranti: "We're honored to meet you. We mean you no harm."
2nd Alien, yells to Rygel: "You said you were alone."
Rygel gasps: "I've... never seen her before."
Noranti: "No. Not alone. There's a human and a luxan, too."
John and D'Argo look at each other, while listening to her talk.
Noranti: "Oh, I've told them of your good works, but they're shy." She turns back towards the rocks: "Come on out. It's all right."
John: "Burning... is too good for her."
Noranti: "Crichton and D'Argo, show yourselves... come on Crichton, D'Argo..."
John holsters his pulse pistol and steps out into the cavern, behind Noranti. D'Argo follows him.
John: "Granny. What're you doin?" He takes her face in his hands. "You have got to stop wandering off like this." John grabs her and hugs her close to him. Her back is to the two aliens, who both have their rifles up and pointed at John and D'Argo. "Thanks for lookin after her, fellas." He shoves her behind him and she hurries off.
John: "She's a little... " He whistles and circles his finger by his ear and laughs.
The two aliens look confused. One of them growls.
John pretends to look around: "You haven't seen my dog have ya? Little Bubba? You got caught in a trap?"
Rygel: "Crichton. Get me out."
John: "I got an idea. Why don't we all put our guns down..."
Voices are heard, in the distance and a shot is fired that hits the rock behind John's head. He and D'Argo duck. John runs behind a rock.
Two more male aliens run into the cavern, their guns blazing.
D'Argo: "There's two more." He shoots his qualta rifle Frool. The shot is absorbed by the disc he is wearing on his chest.
John shoots his pistol at the aliens, also to no effect.
Noranti: "Stop. No firing." She gets in front of D'Argo and holds up her hand: "No firing. Stop."
Guns continue to fire away.
Up above, looking through the amber covering...
Chiana: "What's goin on down there?"
Sikozu grimaces.
They can see the flash of weapons fire.
Noranti: "Olph!"
D'Argo steps around in front of her and shoots. His fire turns the chest disc of one of the aliens blue, but they are not hurt.
D'Argo: "It's no good. They're shielded." The discs make a whirring sound.
D'Argo and John pull back behind a rock.
John: "They got body armor? That's a hell of an invention. How come we don't have that?"
Head alien points: " You three. Get them!"
John and D'Argo run into the rocks. The three aliens follow them.
Rygel: "Where are you going? Don't leave me. Ahhh!"
The head alien walks towards Rygel: "I'll keep you company."
Rygel gasps several times: "Perhaps I should introduce myself. I am..."
The head alien points a gun of sorts towards Rygel. It shoots out a green gas or liquid. He targets the amberlike substance that has Rygel trapped.
Rygel, straining: "Ohh! Please don't hurt me!"
Rygel continues to whimper as the column of amber beneath him starts to melt.
Rygel: "Ahhh, thank you. This won't go unrewarded." He groans some more.
The head alien comes over and picks Rygel up off the column of amber. Rygel's backside and up to his chest is still encased. The alien holds him like a ball.
Rygel: "You di... you didn't finish." He whimpers repeatedly.
The head alien carries him off and places him in the opening where the crates had disappeared.
Rygel: "Ohh! Wh... what are you doing? Ohh! Ohh!" Rygel screams as steam rises in the opening and he disappears.
The head alien walks away: "I'll catch up."
Chiana leans over the amber covered opening. There is a sound like thunder.
Chiana: "Crichton?" She whispers: "Frell!"
She climbs down off the rocks and goes over to where Sikozu is standing.
Chiana: "Those lights? I think they were pulse blasts." She is breathing heavily: "We've gotta help 'em."
Sikozu is standing with her arms crossed, staring at the opening: "We have to get to them first." She starts to walk away. Chiana follows her.
Chiana: "Well, you're a genius. How?"
Sikozu: "The cannon on the Luxan's ship."
Chiana hurries around in front of Sikozu, stopping her. Chiana laughs: "Are you tinged? Only D'Argo can operate that ship."
Sikozu stares at her and Chiana looks worried: "Maybe there's another way in." She walks off while Sikozu looks steamed.
There is a hiss and steam pours out of an opening in the rock of the cavern. Rygel can be heard, yelling, then there is a thud.
Rygel appears in the opening: "That was some drop."
He closes his eyes then opens them again. They fly wide open as, across from him, in the middle of the cavern, an alien of a different species rises with the steam. It is covered with body plates, like an insect, and it has a crate resting on its shoulder. It looks all black as it climbs out of the lava pit, coming towards Rygel. It has spikes on the top of its head and a tiny mouth. Rygel stares at it in alarm.
D'Argo, Noranti and John are running through tunnels in the cavern.
An alien calls: "Down here!"
John stops in his tracks and turns around 180 degrees: "Ho! We got another one." They start running back the way they had just come.
Alien: "I found em!"
D'Argo: "You think we lost those two."
Noranti: "There's no need for..."
She is interrupted by pulse blasts hitting the rock face ahead of them. They dodge behind an outcropping to rest.
An alien stops with his back to the rock. He touches the disc on his chest.
Noranti: "Will you listen to me? These are Tarkan Freedom Fighters. They're heroes. On the planet Cavari there was a deadly plague. The Tarkans defied the quarantine. They brought food, clean water, medicines. They saved thousands of lives."
John is still trying to catch his breath: "Whatever. They're angels of mercy. They're still tryin to shoot us."
Noranti: "Well, what do you expect? You walk into their house, you steal, you shoot at them."
D'Argo: "In case you hadn't noticed, they started to shoot at us first."
John: "Right."
Noranti: "And they're gonna keep shooting us until we die unless we talk to them, so let me mediate."
D'Argo: "You know, maybe we should let her try."
John looks back at Noranti and D'Argo: "Nah... she's gonna get shot."
D'Argo: "And that would be bad?"
One of the original aliens is walking around, shooting green gas at the crates. The insect-like alien has taken off its helmet so that its head shows. He is carrying Rygel in front of him. Rygel is still mostly encased in amber.
Rygel whispers: "Can we discuss this?"
Insect Alien: "So this... is our... intruder?"
Alien leader: "One of them."
Insect Alien: "One? You mean there's more?"
Alien leader: "Three more."
The insect alien growls. He walks over to the lava pit and holds Rygel face first, over the pit. Rygel whimpers.
Insect Alien: "How did you find this place? Who told you we were here?"
Rygel: "Nobody! We found it by accident."
Insect Alien: "And that mooka chain... just fell into your hand by accident too."
Rygel: "I was just putting it back." Rygel shakes and the trinket he is holding jingles.
The insect alien growls and holds Rygel lower, over the lava. Rygel gasps.
Rygel: "Please... no lava... oh, oh!..."
The alien near John and D'Argo comms: "I have the intruders cornered, but I... I... I could do with some help."
The alien leader comms back: "Why? Shoot 'em."
Alien: "But there's two of 'em and they have two guns, I mean, will this... this belt stop two guns at once?"
Alien leader: "I'm coming up.
Insect Alien: "No! I'll take care of it." He turns and hands the alien leader Rygel, who is still upside down. Rygel whimpers.
Insect Alien: "You keep moving those crates. Try to remember we're on a schedule." He comms: "Describe where you are."
Alien: "Look, how'm I supposed to describe it? It all just looks like rock to me."
Noranti: "I won't get shot. I trust Tarkans. Everyone knows their reputation."
John: "I don't."
D'Argo: "Me, either. Listen John. We can't shoot them. We're trapped. Maybe we should let the old lady try and mediate a way out."
John: "Alright. Fine. You're on."
Noranti yawns loudly, ending with a groan.
D'Argo: "Are you all right? What's the matter?"
Noranti: "Oh, I'm just a bit tired, that's all." She slumps over, sound asleep.
D'Argo sighs, deeply.
John: "Grandma? You okay?" He shoves her with his foot.
D'Argo: "I think she's asleep."
Noranti begins to snore.
John shoves her again: "Grandma?"
D'Argo: "Oy!"
John: "This is unbelievable. What? Can't cook... won't bathe... and now she's narcoleptic? She's a triple threat. Grandma! Get up!" John kicks her again.
The insect alien walks through a tunnel. He has put his helmet back on.
Insect alien: "Any markings on the walls?"
Alien: "No... wait, yah. There's a... some purple writing, but I don't know what it says."
Insect alien stops walking: "Purple?"
John pushes Noranti with his foot another time.
John: "Grandma!"
Insect Alien: "The intruders are trapped in the small, lower alcove?"
Alien: "Yah."
Insect Alien: "Good. I know exactly where you are."
John: "Grandma! Get up!"
Insect Alien: "Do you see those purple markings?"
Alien: "Mmm."
Insect Alien: "Shoot them."
Alien: "Shoot the markings?"
Insect Alien: "Yes. Shoot them... now."
The alien stands up and walks over to a wall where some symbols are etched in purple, in the rock. He brings up his weapon and blasts the markings. There is a flash of bright light. The alien screams. Suddenly, lava explodes from the wall and starts streaming down the tunnel.
John: "Bad news."
D'Argo: "Trouble."
The pick up Noranti and lift her off the floor.
John: "Somebody's doin the Pompeii thing. Let's go."
They climb up above the cavern floor just as lava begins to flow where they were standing. They are standing on a tiny ledge. John and D'Argo look back down at the lava which has risen rapidly.
John: "Uh... uh, more bad news."
D'Argo: "Same dren, different planet."
John: "Yah, we're trapped."
D'Argo: "Again."
END OF ACT ONE
__________________________________________________________________________
ACT TWO
Lava is rising in the cavern below John, D'Argo and Noranti.
D'Argo: "The lava's rising. Jump."
John: "Jump?"
D'Argo: "Jump."
John looks across the lake of lava, at the ledge on the other side: "Yah, yah, I can make that, but... the, uh, old bat can't."
D'Argo: "Old bats can fly." He bends down and picks up the still sleeping Noranti. He tosses her across the lava lake and she lands, still sleeping, on the other side. D'Argo pats John's shoulder: "You're up."
John: "All right. Look, I lied. I can't make that jump."
D'Argo: "You can't make that jump? Gimme your foot." D'Argo bends down and takes John's right foot in his hands. "Come on. Go!" He gives John a heave and he flies, with a groan, across the lava, landing face down next to Noranti. Noranti blearily raises her head.
Noranti: "Mmm."
D'Argo: "Okay." He grunts and jumps. He lands just on the edge of the landing. He wavers back and forth, trying to catch his balance to keep from falling backwards into the lava.
John: "D! Grab my hand!"
Noranti: "Ohh!" She sits up, still half asleep.
D'Argo: "Can't reach!" He is still flailing his arms, trying to get his balance. Suddenly, his tongue lashes out and wraps around Noranti's neck. Her eyes bulge out and D'Argo wavers on the ledge. He finally pulls himself forward, using his tongue and falls into John's arms.
John: "I didn't know you could do that!"
D'Argo (lisping): "It takes a bit of practice."
D'Argo's ship is sitting on the planet surface, surrounded by rocks and burning lava. Chiana climbs onboard.
Sikozu is sitting in the Co-pilot's seat: "I take it you did not find another entrance."
Chiana is panting, out of breath: "No... what... are you doing?" She crosses the cockpit and stands behind Sikozu.
Sikozu: "Trying to power up this vessels cannon."
Chiana: "I take it... your memory's frelled! I told you only D'Argo can operate this ship."
Sikozu looks back at Chiana: "And D'Argo is a fool if he has not set an over-ride sequence."
Chiana: "Ohh. I don't think you should be blaming D'Argo in this instance. He's already saved your eema once..."
Sikozu: "All right. Fine. He's a big and brave warrior. However... if these controls are locked to his DNA, it was not particularly smart of him not to have set up an over-ride sequence."
Chiana: "Wait..." She looks back and forth across the cockpit. She laughs and pats Sikozu on the shoulder: "Wait." She laughs again: "You're right."
Sikozu: "Yes, Chiana. I usually am."
Chiana: "Then we don't need D'Argo to run this ship. We just need his DNA." Chiana laughs and pats the bulkhead of LoLah. She laughs and starts down, out of the ship.
Sikozu talks to her retreating back: "And, how do you suggest we get...?"
The Insect Alien and the Alien Leader are walking through the cavern, near the crates.
Insect Alien: "The intruders can't be alive."
Alien Leader: "Well they are. Your miserable lava traps only got one of my men!"
Insect Alien: "Your men are worthless."
Alien Leader: "Do you want to move all these yourself? You're the one who's so worried about the schedule."
They walk past the trapped Rygel who has been left, lying on his side on top of a crate.
Rygel comms: "Crichton? D'Argo? Can you hear me?
D'Argo follows Noranti and John down a tunnel.
D'Argo comms: "Rygel, are you all right?"
Rygel: "No. I'm dying."
Rygel squirms around inside the cocoon of amber: "Please get me out of here before my bowels rupture."
John: "Yah, we'll do that Sparky. Where are yah?"
Rygel comms: "I don't know. Lower level. Some cavern."
John and D'Argo stop walking to listen.
Rygel: "Big pool of lava."
The Insect Alien picks Rygel up.
John comms: "All right. We'll come getcha."
The Insect Alien talks to Rygel's face: "Who's this?"
John looks up and comms back: "Lou Costello. Who's this?"
Insect Alien: "My name's Raa'Keel."
Noranti steps in front of John and comms: "And mine is Utu-Noranti Pralatong."
Behind her, D'Argo hangs his head and sighs.
Noranti: "I'm afraid there's been a huge misunderstanding which we really must rectify."
Raa'Keel: "A misunderstanding?" He is still carrying Rygel as he talks.
John shoves Noranti against a rock: "Yah. We really shouldn't be shooting each other. We didn't come here to rob you guys. Hell, we didn't know there was anybody on this rock."
Noranti: "We're not your enemies. We know who you are."
Raa'Keel:"You do?"
Noranti: "Yes. Every educated species knows and reveres Tarkan Freedom Fighters."
Raa'Keel takes a deep breath: "Then you approve of our work?"
Noranti: "Yah..." John cuts her off by pushing her aside again, holding her face against the rock.
John: "Ab-so-lutely. That thing that you guys did on Calamari... that was beautiful, man."
Noranti rolls her eyes and mouths: "Calamari."
John: "That was Nobel Peace Prize material."
Raa'Keel holds Rygel up in the air and slams him back down on top of a crate. Rygel gasps.
Raa'Keel: "Yet you attempted to rob us!"
Rygel gasps: "Only because I did not realize whose stuff it was. Had I but known..."
John: "Yah, please accept our apology on that. Listen, why don't you give us the slug. We'll punish him appropriately, and we are outta your hair."
Raa'Keel nods: "Alright. We'll release him."
Rygel: "Quickly."
Raa'Keel slams Rygel on the head, hard. Rygel cries out.
Raa'Keel: "But he doesn't look well. You'd better come and get him."
John: "Yah, we'd love to do that. Where are you?"
Raa'Keel: "Stay where you are. I'll send an escort."
John: "Fine."
D'Argo looks down.
Noranti smiles.
Raa'Keel turns to the Alien Leader: "Find him."
The Alien leader walks off.
D'Argo: "You know, I definately do not trust this guy."
John: "Me either, but I got an idea."
Noranti: "But then there's no reason not to trust him. I mean..."
John: "Grandma... zip it. We do not wanta hear what saints the Tarkans are. We are not going in there undefended. So you can either get with the program, or you can shut up."
D'Argo: "Preferably both. What's your idea?"
John goes over to stand by D'Argo so they can talk.
John: "Alright, here's the thing. I think that we ambush the escort, we hit him with a rock and we take his belt."
D'Argo: "That is your plan?"
John: "Yah."
D'Argo: "To hit him with a rock? When they have these like, shield things?" D'Argo is yelling and gesturing.
John: "The shields work against pulse energy. They don't work against other things. We saw the guy get burnt."
D'Argo: "Yah, but not by a rock!"
John: "Alright, let me lay this out for you. Fire... is thermal energy."
D'Argo: "Okay."
John: "Thermal energy is like kinetic energy."
D'Argo nods his head, okay.
John: "A rock has kinetic energy. Ergo, a rock will work."
D'Argo turns his eyes up at the ceiling, then looks back at John: "Uh... okay. Okay. I'm with you. I just have... uh... one small little question."
John rolls his eyes and sighs.
D'Argo: "Who is... Lou Costello?"
Noranti runs over and grabs John by the shoulders: "Wait!"
John: "What?"
Noranti: "I want to help."
John shoves her away: "Abbott and Costello. We've been over this." He starts to walk away.
D'Argo: "Right." He follows John.
On the planet surface, Sikozu and Chiana are walking past where the crew had all vomited earlier. Sikozu walks by a rock with a small amount of blue liquid spilled on it.
Sikozu: "That was yours, so this must be D'Argo's." She stops by a pile of yellowish gunk.
Chiana walks past her: "Oh, no, no, no, no. This is Crichton's." She stops by a pile of goo that is chest high on her and smoking. "This... is D'Argo's." She sticks a finger in the goo and touches it to her tongue. She puts it in her mouth and chews it for a while.
Sikozu: "No living creature could produce that!"
Chiana smiles: "You haven't met many Luxans, have yah?" She digs both her hands into the sides of the pile of vomit.
Sikozu: "Ohh!" She turns her head away, covering her face with her hand.
Chiana's gloved hands are coverd in D'Argo's vomit. She holds them up in the air.
Chiana: "Uh. Okay."
Sikozu: "I should be doing this."
Chiana: "Excuse me. I'm the one... that put my hands in the vomit."
Sikozu: "And I am the one who happened to observe D'Argo's starting procedure when we left Arnessk."
Chiana starts pressing controls. Lo'La begins to make noises.
Sikozu points to different controls: "Press this, this, that and those two together."
Chiana: "This, this, that..."
The ship makes more noises and the forward viewing screen becomes clear.
Voice of Lo'La's Computer: "Power systems at your command, Ka D'Argo."
Chiana and Sikozu both laugh.
Chiana: "How do you fire up the cannon?"
Sikozu: "That I do not know."
Chiana turns and stares at her.
Sikozu: "I've never seen him use the cannon."
Chiana rolls her eyes and reaches for another control on the ceiling: "Right." She flips several switches and the computer makes loud beeping noises.
Sikozu: "Random flailing is pointless, Chiana. Move aside and help me w..."
She starts to move over to the pilot's chair. Chiana holds up a vomit-coated hand to stop her.
Chiana: "Hey! I'm the one... that put my hands in the vomit. Okay, you want a turn? Go get your own vomit."
Sikozu looks down at her.
Noranti is stirring something in a black leather pouch and muttering to herself: "Yes, the powder is ready.
There is a blowing sound and a cloud of dust flies out into the tunnel. John approaches and Noranti passes him, walking in the opposite direction.
Noranti: "Come through. Don't inhale."
John walks past the cloud of powder, swiping it away from his face with his hand.
John: "O... kay." He goes off to the side and joins D'Argo.
D'Argo: "What is it? Sleeping powder?"
John: "I don't know, she's pretty vague. But this'll knock 'em out." He hands D'Argo a small rock. An alien voice can be heard, coming down the tunnel towards them.
1st Alien: "... I signed on to haul crates, not get killed."
Frool: "Me too. If I get killed, all my wives will throw fits."
The two aliens continue walking down the tunnel, past where John and D'Argo are hiding and into the cloud of blue dust. They are armed with rifles and both have the shielding belts on their chests.
The 1st Alien stops and smells something: "Ahh." He shoves the other in the back. "Come on, come on, come on, Frool." They start off down the tunnel again.
After they pass her, Noranti comes out into the tunnel behind them.
Noranti: "Hey, fellas." She holds her hands up over her head and moves her hips in a kind of a swaying dance. The two aliens stop and turn, pointing their rifles at her.
1st Alien: "Oh!"
Frool: "Huh?"
Noranti glides back down the tunnel, the way they have just come. Her third eye is open and glowing. John and D'Argo see her glide past their hiding place and they move closer, to watch. Noranti stops in the middle of the tunnel and begins to dance again. She holds her hands out to her sides and hangs onto her skirt with one of them, making it billow and swirl as she moves. There is the sound of a drumbeat and some music. The two aliens begin to creep back down the tunnel, watching her in obvious fascination. They look towards each other.
Frool: "Ohhhh!"
1st Alien: "Ohhh, Frool. Let's do it!"
They look back down the tunnel and see a blue haired beauty in a grass skirt belly dancing.
1st Alien: "Oh, yah, baby!"
The blue haired beauty turns her back to them and releases the shimmering covering she was wearing down her back. It drops to the floor as she continues to dance. She waves her hand at them; its fingertips are painted blue to match her hair.
1st Alien: "You can take it off."
John and D'Argo stay hidden, watching.
Noranti continues to dance: "I am de flower, you are de bee." She puts her palms together, arms raised over her head, and shimmies.
1st Alien: "Whaa!"
<